[Dictation] Modern Family S1 E1 #1-3

- Kids! Breakfast! Kids? Phil, would you get them?

 

- Yeah, just a sec.

 

- Kids!

 

- That is ...

 

- Okay.

 

- Kids! Get down here!

 

- Why are you guys yelling at us when we're way upstairs? Just text me.

 

- Alright, that's not gonna happen and wow, you're not wearing that outfit.

 

- What's wrong with it?

 

- Honey, do you have anything to say to your daughter about her skirt?

 

- Sorry, oh yeah, it looks really cute, sweetheart.

 

- Thanks.

 

- No, it's way too short. People know you are a girl, you don't need to prove it to them.

 

- Luke got his head stuck in the banister again.

 

- I got it. Where's the baby oil?

 

- It's on our bedside tab(le) ... I don't know. Find it. Come on!

 

- I was out of control growing up, there, you know, I said it. I just don't want my kids to make the same bad mistakes I made. If Haley never wakes up on a beach in Florida, half naked, I've done my job.

 

- Our job.

 

- Right. I've done our job.

 

 

 

- ¡Vamos, Manny! (Go Manny!) Kick it! Kick it! Don't let him ... Kick it! Manny, go! ¡A la derecha! ¡A la derecha! (To the right!) No! No, no. He tripped him, Jay. Where's the penalty?

 

- Gloria, they're 0 (oh) and 6. Let's take it down a notch.

 

- We're very different. Jay's from the city. He has a big business. I come from a small village, very poor but very very beautiful. It's the number one village in all Colombia for all the ... What's the word?

 

- Murders.

 

- Yes. The murders.

 

- Manny, stop him! Stop him, you can do it!

 

- Damn it, Manny.

 

- Come on, coach. You gotta kick that kid out!

 

- You wanna take him out? How about I take you out?

 

- Honey, honey.

 

- Why don't you worry about your son? He spent the first half with his hand in his pants!

 

- I've wanted to tell her off for last six weeks. I'm Josh, Ryan's dad.

 

- Hi, I'm Gloria Pritchett, Manny's mother.

 

- Oh, and this must be your dad.

 

- Her dad? No, no that's funny. Actually no, I'm her husband. Don't be fool by the, uh... Give me a second here.

 

 

 

- Who is a good girl? Who's that? Who's that?

 

- Oh, she's adorable!

 

- Oh thank you.

 

- Hi, precious.

 

- Hello! Hi! Hi! We just, we just adopted her from Vietnam and we're bringing her home for the first time, huh?

 

- She's an angel. You and your wife must be thrilled.

 

- Sorry, sorry, sorry. Daddy needed snacks. Hi. So, what are we talking about?

 

- Ah, we have been together for ... guh, five, five years now? And uh, we just, we decided we really wanted to have a baby so we had initially asked one of our lesbian friends to be a surrogate, but ...

 

- Then we figured they're already mean enough. Can you imagine one of 'em pregnant? No thank you. Ick.

 

- You saw that, right? Everybody fawning over Lily and then you walk on and suddenly it's all "Ooh, Skymall. I gotta buy a motorized tie rack." Alright, you know, I'm gonna give the speech.

 

- You are not giving the speech. You're gonna be stuck with these people for the next five hours.

 

- Why ... You're right, you're right. Okay, I'm sorry.

 

- Honey, look at that baby with those cream puffs.

 

- Okay, excuse me. Excuse me but this baby would've grown up in a crowded orphanage if it wasn't for us, cream puffs. And you know what? Note to all of you who judge. Hear this. Love knows no race, creed, or gender. And shame on you. Your small-minded, ignorant few ...

 

- Mitchell ... Mitchell ... Mitchell!

 

- What?

 

- She's got the cream puffs.

 

- Oh.

 

- We would like to pay for everyone's headsets.