[Dictation] Modern Family S1 E1 #7

- This doesn't worry you? She barely slept on the plane and she's still wide awake.

 

- Oh, stop worrying.

 

- I can't, that, that orphanage was all women. Maybe she just, she can't fall asleep unless she feels a woman shape.

 

- I guess that's possible.

 

- So here.

 

- What the hell is that supposed to mean?

 

- Yes, I've gained a few extra pounds while we were expecting the baby, which has been very difficult. But apparently your body does a nesting, very maternal, primal thing where it retains nutrients, some sort of molecular physiology thing. But that's science. You can't, you can't fight it, so.

 

- I'm not saying anything.

 

- You're saying everything.

 

- Count to three.

 

- One, two,

 

- Three!

 

- Okay. Oh, Cam. This is beautiful.

 

- Oh my god. Do you love it?

 

- Yes, I, what the hell is that?

 

- I had Andre do it while we were gone.

 

- Is that us, with wings?

 

- We're floating above her, always there to protect her.

 

- Okay. Well, that's reassuring, right Lily? Yes, we tore you away from everything. You know, but don't worry, things are normal here. Your fathers are floating fairies. No, can you call Andre, have him paint something a little less gay? By the way we need to stop having friends with names like Andre.

 

- Redheaded daddy is angry daddy.

 

- No, I'm not.

 

- Yes, you are. Even Pepper pointed it out on the way home from the airport.

 

- Okay, that's another one, Pepper.

 

- Okay, what's up?

 

- All right, look. I never told my family we were adopting a baby.

 

- I know.

 

- You do?

 

- Yeah, and I don't blame you. I know your family. You'd tell'em. They'd say something judgmental.

 

- Exactly.

 

- You'd get mad.

 

- I know. And then something that's supposed to be nothing but joyful suddenly turns into this huge fight.

 

- And who wants a big emotional scene like that.

 

- Thank you. Thank you. I'm so relieved you understand.

 

- I invited them over for dinner tonight.

 

- What?

 

- I had to. This would have gone on forever. You're an avoider.

 

- No, no, no, no, Cam, I'm calling them right now and canceling.

 

- No, you're not. You are telling your family you adopted a baby tonight. And you do have avoidance issues. Even Longinus said so.

 

- Are you really not hearing these names?